by Janis Joplin
Juniperview University unveiled plans today for a six million dollar construction project. The end result: a campus shooting range, academic building, and arena.
The Juniperview Sharpshooter's Association is spearheading the effort. This group of students, alumni, and staff was founded in 2009 by student organization Sigma Boom Chi Pow. The JSA meets regularly to discuss firearms, practice shooting, and control the clay pigeon population of the region. Members of the JSA also serve the university as volunteers, patrolling the campus perimeter.
"We have always wanted a shooting range on campus," said Sharpshooter Josey Wales, "One of our sister schools paved the way for such efforts! We can't wait to follow suit!"
The planned facility will contain two indoor shooting ranges, numerous classrooms, an ammunition wholesale store, and an in-house taxidermist. An outdoor arena will be constructed in conjunction with the shooting range.
"The outdoor arena will be available for students and staff who possess tanks and aircraft," said Steve Jones, founder of the Juniperview University chapter of the Abrams Tank Club. "For years, we had to perform our maneuvers off campus. The Abrams Tank Club is proud to partner with Sigma Boom Chi Pow in the creation of a state of the art facility for drills, skirmishes, and battles!"
Several individuals expressed concerns about the university's plan, including current and former students.
"I see all these elaborate plans taking shape, but I am rather alarmed at the direction we are headed," said one concerned student, "A firing range and tank arena? Must I state the obvious? What about the helipads?"
A second student agreed, "Last month, when my sister came to visit, she had to park her Blackhawk helicopter three blocks away."
The JSA expressed interest in adding helipads, but noted that this development would need to wait until a later date.
"It would be nice to have everything we want all at once, but the truth is, we really must be practical."
The Sharpshooters plan to utilize the new War Games Facility as part of a larger movement on campus. They hope to focus their efforts on education, safety, and recreational militarization. They also plan to emphasize the spiritual component of weaponry.
"We will take on the full armor of God so we can stand in the present age... and guns."
Juniperview University
