Cornelius Finklestein- FIRED!
(Cornelius has been fired from Juniperview because of his inability to fully align himself with the newspaper doctrinal statement)
Mr. Cornelius Finklestein is a 1967 graduate of Juniperview University. He majored in Gregorian Chant with a minor in Journalism. After serving as a correspondent for Entertainment Weekly for thirteen years, Cornelius returned to Juniperview as News Editor in Chief for The Juniperview University News. His hobbies include reading, creative writing, and lobbying for Second Amendment rights across the nation.
Frederick J. Templeton- FIRED!
(Frederick has been fired from Juniperview because of comments he made in a book he wrote 57 years ago.)
Frederick J. Templeton is a graduate of Juniperview University. After graduation, Mr. Templeton served as the Dean of Boys at Juniperview for 40 years. After stepping down from that position, Mr. Templeton served as Associate Professor of Cults and Mystic Religions for 20 years. Mr. Templeton then served 10 years as President of the University, and 10 years as the Chancellor after that. Since retiring from that position in 1980, Frederick continues to write news articles for the university on a freelance basis.
Dr. Janis Joplin- FIRED!
(Jane or whatever has been fired from Juniperview because she is a woman).
Janis enjoys knitting.
Steven Norris- FIRED!
(Steven was fired because he did not report Cornelius Finklestein to the administration immediately upon suspecting he may not align himself with the doctrinal statement).
Steven is the youngest member of our news team. He graduated from Bob Jones University in 1994 with a degree in Biblical and Culinary Studies. Steven went on to manage his own law firm for 4 months before accepting a position as a bank teller. Two months later, Steven accepted a management position at a local Dollar Tree. He now works for Juniperview University as the Public Relations Director. Some say he bears a striking resemblance to former President George W. Bush.
The Commander
The Commander holds all editorial authority at The Juniperview University News. Nothing goes to publication without his approval. His hobbies include animal husbandry, stamp collecting, and unexpectedly shouting "Boo!" at tenured professors.
Fredo- STATUS UNKNOWN
Website design.
