This morning, October 7, in the Juniperview Chapel, Dr. James Barsuvius was officially inaugurated as the 453rd President of Juniperview University.
Barsuvius was selected by a university search committee in June and has been easing into his Presidential duties since then. Today's ceremony was open to staff, students, alumni, and local dignitaries wishing to welcome Dr. Barsuvius to this position.
The ceremony was filled with worship music and inspiring comments from a long list of dignitaries, including two former university presidents, the Chairman of the Board of Trustees, and mega-celebrity Kirk Cameron.
The inaugural address was provided by Samuel Shepherd, the Dean of Biblical Thinking About Important Things. After numerous prayers and exhortations, along with some Scripture readings and hymns, Dr. Barsuvius came on deck and assumed his seat at the bridge. From his command chair, Dr. Barsuvius took this opportunity to publicly reminded the faculty of his new role as Chief Academic Officer.
"Keep an eye on your email inboxes for announcements regarding coming changes," said Barsuvius, "I will keep an eye on your email inboxes too."
In an unprecedented move, Dr. Barsuvius followed his remarks by inviting a local artist on stage to take part in a ceremony. Dr. Barsuvius then lowered his trousers and had the university doctrinal statement, in its entirety, tattooed on his right buttock.
"We were very happy to see that take place," said Dr. Cornrose, Vice Regent of Academic Affairs and Such, "He has left no room for doubt when it comes to his unwavering commitment to our doctrinal precepts."
Cedarville University, a Christian college in Ohio, recently began the tradition of having a newly appointed President ceremonially sign a doctrinal statement during the inauguration. Juniperview has taken things even further.
"Whatever I do while in this position of leadership, I will do it seated upon the doctrinal statement," said Dr. Barsuvius.
This marks the first time in University history that a sitting president has tattooed the doctrinal statement on his buttocks.
Pictured below: The Inauguration Proceedings
